Thursday, February 16, 2012

The "Dont Look At The Clock" Game

     I have found that the last hour of any work shift is the hardest part of my entire day.

     Yes, sometimes I have to get up for work at 3AM. And sometimes we get a line of customers that stretches out the door and around our building, and I have to make drinks for three consecutive hours, while still pretending I'm enjoying myself and I'm happy to see everyone. All of this is difficult, but at least they make time go by faster.

     That last hour kills me every time, and here's why:

     I end up playing what I like to call the "Don't Look At The Clock" Game. We've all done it. It's miserable, and we know it, but we still do it.

     The DLATC Game is when you actively try not to look at the clock, with the hope that maybe this will make time go by faster. Do not be fooled by this idea. This is a mistake. It will fail. Every time.

     When you think it's been a half hour, it's been three minutes.

     When it feels like you haven't looked at the clock for two hours, only fifteen minutes has really passed when you look again.

     When you start the game, the clock will look like this.

     When it feels like it's been forever, you decide you can't take it anymore and you check the clock, it will more than likely look like this.

     In fact, it may even look like this.

     Yes, time may actually go backwards when you play this game. This is science! (And believe me, I know science. I used to watch Bill Nye The Science Guy alll the time.)

     I've actually taken the game to the next level by trying to get co-workers involved. This is also a mistake. Someone will eventually have to look at the clock, and they will inevitably tell everyone else what time it is, thus ruining the game and making multiple people miserable, resulting in mass misery that only makes time go by even slower.

      And then the only way to end the cycle of mass misery is to stop time completely!!

     ...and then you will need this:

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