1. When I have been doing schoolwork for too long, I look like this:
2. I recently realized that the word "hood" stands for "neighborhood."
3. I often wonder how much ice cream I could really consume in one sitting. I'll bet it's a lot.
4. One time my friend Candice and I did a David Bowie photo shoot. I am not ashamed.
5. So far today, I've had two cookies and a beer.
6. That's a lie. I've had three beers.
7. At least I drank good quality beers.
8. That's also a lie.
9. Do they have dog modeling agencies? Because I think Toby would be great at it...even though he sort of looks like a Gremlin...
10. I want to start using the word "marvelous" more often.
11. Yesterday, I decided to plant a tree in our backyard on a whim. I dragged my roommates into this venture. It didn't fit in the car, I had to dig a huge hole in the backyard by myself, and we had to secure a perimeter around it to keep the dogs out. My roommates are giving it a week before I kill it.
12. Am I the only one who feels like a badass when my muscles are sore from overworking them? I mean, digging a hole killed my triceps. I can't see them because they're behind me, but I bet I have the triceps of a body builder right now.
13. I really shouldn't be digging holes and planting trees with a concussion and a skull fracture.
14. There are three very loud, very obnoxious ice cream trucks that drive around our neighborhood in the afternoon every day during my nap time. I often fantasize about throwing rocks at them.
15. Someday I will own a mini horse. And it will have a giant doggie door and full access to my home.
16. This is a kitten leaping through time and space to escape the evil boss.
17. I just texted my roommate and said, "If you happen to walk into my current situation, I'd like to ask that we not discuss the amount of In-N-Out I have already consumed today, the amount of In-N-Out I will have likely had by the end of the day, or the fact that I'm sitting by myself watching Teen Mom."
18. I wonder if I could make it in the circus.
19. I lied about my weight while filling out paperwork at the hospital over the weekend.
20. This is what I look like right now: